In this episode, I get to catch up with my friend and Reiki Master/Teacher Melissa Baker. This is her first appearance on the show!
Melissa and I met years ago after I answered her ad on CraigList. Not that kind of ad! We were both seeking shared office spaces for healing practitioners. Though that didn’t pan out for us since we were ahead of our time back then, Melissa is now part of a new healing cooperative community in the Twin Cities where she offers in-person intuitive readings and energy healing in addition to her virtual offerings.
In this conversation, Melissa takes us deep into the concept of masculine versus feminine energy, force versus being, why we still have shadow work to do, and how to navigate through it all and into a deeper truth of who we are.
Listen on Apple Podcasts (coming soon)
“My work is about discovering who you are. It’s realizing your power, realizing that you have those same gifts, and everything you’re searching for is right there in your heart–in your being. And so it’s moving through that, taking off the bandaids or removing the veils, and coming into a deeper truth of who you are. – Melissa Baker
I kind of mirror and work with the collective energy…instead of [the collective] being this masculine dominant paradigm, we’re moving into feminine essence paradigm. – Melissa Baker
I would say that intuition is feminine, and the ego or the mind or the thinking is the masculine. – Melissa Baker
You don’t need to understand all of it. You need to trust. Because the true knowingness is what arises from you. And when we go digging and searching and seeking, that’s externalizing that trust. Then, we’re no longer in that flow. – Melissa Baker
The easier way to get things to flow is a higher emotional quality: focusing on the quality or emotional experience of joy and bringing that into your body and really feeling and sensing that. Not pretending. You’re teaching your body how to embrace that energy because our brain doesn’t know the difference. – Melissa Baker
It’s always in that moment of having no one to turn to when you really do surrender. We think of giving up as being a negative thing. But an essence of surrender is saying ‘I let go, I’m not trying to force my will on this anymore.’ It’s in that moment you surrender that energy expands. The contraction around that energy is released and, all the sudden, the energy can flow and things can move and you’re able to see the energy start shifting. – Melissa Baker
Berni mentioned Maisie Smith’s quote, ‘I love it when people can stand in their raw moments and say…I’m a mess, yet I’m divine.’
Polarity is our connection to the second dimension or the dualistic world. And polarity is the essence of light and darkness. You have to have both. And they actually work together like this. You can’t have one or the other. They literally work together. – Melissa Baker
When you are doing a lot of this internal work, you have to meet the shadows within to truly discover your light and vice versa. And when you’re doing this work, and you’re moving more towards the light, you’re going to see that darkness get even bigger. This is what we’re seeing in the world right now. So, it is this polarity experience that is and always will be. And we have to understand that. – Melissa Baker
As we all do our shadow work and really come into wholeness or enter into our sovereignty, we then integrate that shadow. It’s still present, but the quality of shadow is not the same. We won’t see this psychopathic, narcissistic kind of shadow presence because it’s so integrated and woven in with the light. The shadow, then, becomes what the feminine is and that is pure potential. – Melissa Baker
So you’ve chosen to work on a specific thing. Like a spiral, you’re going to go around it and around it and around it. And the reason is because we’re constantly rotating around right answers and looking at them from different angles. And we can, since we’re multi-dimensional creatures. Even though we may not be consciously aware of it, we’re going to have different experiences or ideas or see things from a different perspective as we’re doing that work. But what it’s doing is further integrating it until you get to the point you don’t react. That is when you’re done with it. Really. When you come face to face with that same situation and you no longer respond, that’s when you heal. But really what it is, you’ve integrated it. – Melissa Baker
FORCE VERSUS BEING
I feel the energy of what’s going on in the world. And right now it’s hard not to notice. There is the very real external reality that’s happening. Then there’s your internal experience. And so the lesson is about force versus being.
It is an immature masculine or patriarchal quality to force, to push, to dominate, to make things happen. We’re used to this in our society, especially in the West here in America because we’ve been taught to do it. If you want to be successful, we have to push ahead, we have to dominate the scene, we have to monopolize, we have to force our will to make things happen. I mean, even the old idea of manifestation–to try to like manipulate the energy to get what he wants–is forcing.
To really manifest is to just be to allow it to flow through you, to set the intention, be in that feeling, and allow it to magnetize towards you. That is actually the law of attraction, not this “I’m gonna write a list of all these things and then I’m gonna…” Forcing, that’s one side of the coin.
The other side is the feminine, which is being. And that is allowing. So when you get into a situation where you want an outcome or you want something to change or you’re really desiring something, the element of just being with it I think frustrates people. This letting go of needing to know, letting go of having a certain outcome, trusting that if you can put yourself into this state of being of wanting a peaceful existence within you and stop having expectations about things outside of you is, then, going to start that process of just being.
It’s taking your power back and being in your center.
It’s doing the things that mean something to you.
It’s “This brings me happiness and joy, so I’m going to focus on that.”
How can you stay centered instead of focusing and forcing and pushing and all these things that actually take your energy right out of your center, and give your power away? So doing those things helps.
Focus on the higher creational type of energy:
- Focus on joy, focus on love, focus on these feelings and feeling it (even if it’s just a 10-minute thing you do every day)
- Check in with yourself, What do I need? How can I make choices with my day to stay within that bracket of internal happiness and then feeling those feelings?
- Set aside time in the morning and night and anytime during the day you can do that work.
- Breath work is so important: Breathe into those emotional feelings that you want to feel. It allows the nervous system to calm down when you’re doing that deep breathing. We need the nervous system to recalibrate around these emotions and stop doing the fight-or-flight. Make sure you’re doing that couple times a day. I say morning and night. Morning: you can set your tone for the day when you just wake up. Night: you can clear the circuit of everything you just experienced all day long and then go to bed with that uplifted sense so that when you wake up, you can start that cycle again.
Melissa offers Intuitive Readings, Multi-Dimensional Intuitive Energy Healing, and Feminine Sovereignty Coaching.
For in-person services and events, you can find Melissa at Creator Space, an artistic and healing cooperative community in Downtown St. Paul.
For virtual sessions, Melissa can meet with you on Zoom.
Her website is MelissaBakerHealer.com.